How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

November 24th, 2007 | Add Comment | Humor How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? |  Facebook

Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, since his hands are in the air anyway.
A: Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls!
A: Twenty one, one to change it, and twenty to share the experience!

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

Q: How many hyper-Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If God wants the light bulb changed He will do it Himself!

Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.

Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They always use candles instead.

Q: How many evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.

Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But they are still in darkness.

Q: How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change?????

Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to change it and nine others to pray against the spirit of darkness.
A: Twenty Five. One to screw in the new lamp. Two dozen to bind the powers of darkness.

Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

Q: How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

Q: How many independent baptist’s does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, anymore than that would be considered ecumenical.

Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the old one.

Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well, it should require about five committees to review the idea first. If each is staffed with half a dozen members, that’s what … Thirty?

Q: How many members of the church of Christ does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, four to serve refreshments.

Q: How many conservative Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman.

Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. Five to determine how many can be changed by the year 2000, four to raise the necessary funds, one to go find a national to do the job!

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