An Ecumenical Fairytale

March 22nd, 2007 | 2 Comments | Church Issues, Discernment, Emergent Church, Humor, Purpose Driven An Ecumenical Fairytale |  Facebook

The original post, by Pastor Ken Silva, can be found on the Apprising Ministries web site.

“Now let us all gather ‘round little children and I’ll tell you the story about the seeker sensitive Jesus of the man-pleasing purpose driven emergent word faith church…”

Once upon a time in an ecumenical emergent nation far, far in the very fertile imaginations of a growing number of Evangelical Christians, the religious leaders of the day came up with a dastardly purpose driven idea to take the life of the sweet seeker sensitive charismatic Creator of the world and founder of the Christian Faith, our Lord Christ Jesus of Nazareth.

At that time Jesus was offering up prayers with loud cries and tears while touring the various secular venues as He shared His fresh “ground-breaking” message of peace and love with huge crowds at arenas all across the Holy Land. Our Lord had to strive valiantly to develop the legions of fans who would eventually ride camels and donkeys en masse to hear His really cool talks about God and stuff. And oh how Jesus toiled long hours to try and get these people to understand His purpose driven plan of emergent mysticism and positive thinking that would unlock their faith-filled words so they could live their best life now.

The Master would patiently tell them time and time again about the power of their faith, impressing upon them the importance of a positive confession over the critical culturally relevant 40 day plan. His crack promotion team worked overtime to scout out the best possible areas for advance publicity in order to prepare this stubborn and rebellious generation to finally believe that it was okay to want to ride the best camels and wear the most expensive designer clothes, after all they were the King’s kids. Jesus struggled mightily to get these people to experiment with various styles of eastern mysticism and told them that God will meet you where you are because no one could really know for sure what He wants anyway.

Well, maybe it was a petty jealousy that caused these stodgy ol’ religious types to plot the Master’s demise while Jesus was forcing Himself to become the most famous Person to ever walk His earth. It was an incredible sacrifice! Our Lord knew that He was going to have to work pretty hard to convince this people to make the difficult sacrifice to come out to His daily performances for a memorable night of merriment and meditation. Jesus made the supreme effort to faithfully tell them each and every one of the uplifting messages His Father had given Him to preach while He was “worshiptaining” the crowds with His rocking band of unschooled ordinary fishermen with the cool hair.

The strain was nearly unbearable as Jesus told His followers that in order to follow Him to the bank they must deny themselves of their foolish efforts to please their Maker and to just relax; oh how difficult it was having to make this foolish and stubborn people feel good in their sin. The tedious drive day after day of playing to those sold out stadiums and the writing of new books which shared the wonderful message of God’s purpose for their lives that everyone should be happy, healthy and prosperous began to wear on Him. But the Lord forced Himself to keep going despite the hardship of His Own growing wealth so He could teach His followers that by confessing their faith-filled words they would then give God permission to work here in the earth realm.

And even though Jesus was always working together with these religious and secular leaders to bring about God’s goal for brotherhood all mankind to live together in peace, love and harmony, one day they suddenly got together and one of Christ’s disciples overheard them as they plotted our Lord’s demise:

“Hey Caiaphas; c’mere. You know that Jesus of Nazareth? Yeah, that’s the one, the sweet tolerant Fellow with the glowing complexion–the halo over His head–and all the birds landing on Him all the time? Well, I’ve been thinking; Jesus has never criticized us publicly while He has been believing with us to make sure everyone has a comfortable faith-based life. As a matter of fact He has actually never even given us the slightest impression that He disagrees with us on anything at all. So, hey why don’t we see if we can arrange it so that Jesus gets crucified!”
Of course all of this does seem rather absurd, but all I’ve really done here is to take this whole pragmatic postmodern seeker sensitive nonsense teaching to its logical conclusion. The Bible says – For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough… For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve (2 Corinthians 11:4, 13-15).

How much better that we turn our backs on all these false prophets of the ecumenical man-pleasing purpose driven emerging word faith new evangelical church and finally return to our senses:

“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:14-15).

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2 Responses to “An Ecumenical Fairytale”

  1. survivor says:

    Nice work Shane, thanks for posting this! Looking forward to reading more things that you post. Keep up the awesome work.

    God Bless you

  2. scottnailon says:

    That was Classic reading! FANTASTIC!!!

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